Addiction
by Felineyx
Summary: Marian is in a rehabilitation centre after an addiction to cocaine. Then a new boy turns up, and changes her perspective on the world around her. AU, R/M, W/D, A/OC. Rated T for the whole idea of drugs but rating will not go up.
1. Bittersweet Symphony : The Verve

**A.N. Wow. So, it's nice to be back, and nice to have a vaguely unusual plotline! This story will, at some point have fluff, but the rating will go no higher than T, because I'm only fourteen, and therefore don't want to be going any higher!**

**The chapters in this fic will be named for the songs that inspired them and for nothing else. **

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**MPOV**

I groaned audibly as the Room Advisor banged loudly on the door to the room that Lucy and I shared. With a sigh, I swung my legs out of bed, reaching for my hairbrush so I could detangle my madly tangled curls.

Sorting my hair out, I headed over to my wardrobe, pulling out a pair of dark blue jeans, a random long sleeved top and a cream woolly cardie-comfort clothes, something to combat the extreme warmth that is Sherwood Rehabilitation Centre, or SRC for short.

I'd been admitted to SRC two months ago, after my father noticed my new addiction to cocaine. What he didn't think about was why exactly I'd gone anyway near them. The drugs were just a way to escape, I suppose, from having to look after myself, all the time, having to really fight to get good grades at school so that I could get a good job. He put so much pressure on me, and although I knew he meant well, it didn't stop me feeling bitter about it. I'm fifteen, I'm supposed to angry and bitter.

--

After breakfast, I had to go to a session with my counsellor, Dr Smythe. She could be nice, but her overriding personality seemed to be very blunt and sharp. She was almost certainly in the wrong job, and was well-hated by pretty much everyone.

However, today's was to be a short session, as she had decided that I could go home for a visit-finally! I grinned as I stepped out of her office, flinging myself down on one of the chairs in the waiting room, humming to myself. Much as I hated my father, he was the only family I had left now, and I loved him dearly.

However, as I glanced around, reading all the posters, I became aware that I was not alone in the waiting room-there was a boy sat about six seats down from me, staring off into space. He was sat alone, but he was new-I had never seen him before.

He was so good-looking too! Messy brown hair, and the deepest, sparkly green eyes that seemed to go on forever, the kind of eyes that you could get lost in and never find the way out of. He seemed to sense me staring at him and turned around, an unfathomable expression on his face. With a shake of his head, he turned back around.

Moments later, Dr Smythe stepped out of her room again.

"Robin Locksley?" she called, and the boy stood up, dragging his feet a little as he walked over to where she stood and was ushered into her room.

However, my thoughts were quickly diverted as another boy walked up to me, sitting down next to me before I could protest.

"Hello, Guy," I said, my voice and face expression-less. Guy Gisbourne followed me around the centre like a sick puppy-it was actually quite unnerving, particularly as he was not the kind of person you'd like to meet in a dark alley at three in the morning. He had black hair down to the bottom of his neck, black eyes that seemed to scream of evil, and the kind of face that just _looks _arrogant. I hated him, but he seemed to have fallen in love with me, and pretending to be friendly to him stopped the centre splitting off into two cliques, so I wasn't complaining, really.

"Sorry Guy, my father's over there!" I said brightly, grabbing the excuse to get away from him, although it helped that my father really was there.

"Hello, darling!" he said, hugging me as I ran up to him. This was my third visit since I came to centre, and although I still wasn't allowed an overnight stay, I was glad of the chance to get out of the place for a few hours, somewhere other than the boring excursions that they seemed to love taking us on.

--

I climbed into the passenger side of my dad's big Chelsea Tractor, as I liked to call it. It was a huge Land Rover, which seemed very over the top as he lived on the middle of Nottingham, and only had me for family! I lectured him all the time, but had finally admitted defeat about a year ago, way before SRC.

As we pulled up the driveway, I saw someone hovering in the doorway and turned to my father, confused.

"Who's she, Dad?" I asked.

"That's my girlfriend, Isabelle." he replied calmly.

"Your _what?_?!" I exclaimed, my voice laced with venom and anger, shock and surprise covering my face. How could he go off and get a girlfriend that looked to be at least twenty years younger than him and completely plastic. Fake tan, bleach blonde hair, blue eyes, everything but a personality. How could he get another girlfriend so soon after Mum died? She only died two years ago, and we'd both been completely in pieces over it.

"I'm sorry, Marian," he said, glancing over at me with a face filled with apology and sorrow. But that just didn't cut it for me.

"I'm not spending a day with the queen of plastic! Take me back!" I yelled, probably loud enough for her to hear, but I didn't care. My father took one look at my face and chose to take me back.

--

He dropped me outside the centre, and I ran inside, not wanting to spend another moment with him. However, I ran straight into something warm and solid, something that caught me before I fell. I glanced up, and fell straight into _those _eyes. The boy from earlier-Robin.

I felt him chuckle as he realised I was staring again, I shook my head and smiled.

"I'm Marian." I said politely.

"Robin, though I expect you already knew that," he replied, a smile on his face.

"Yeah…sorry!" I laughed.

"It's ok," he replied, laughing with me. "Nice to meet you, Marian," he added, his tone changing to something I couldn't quite recognise. But it sounded sincere.

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**A.N. I hope you enjoyed it-please review as reviews are like cake-awesome! But don't worry, I'm not going to be one of those people who won't post until they have **_**x **_**number of reviews!**

**Felineyx**


	2. Everybody Hurts : REM

**A.N. Wow. So many reviews! I wasn't going to post this until Friday (birthday update, yayses), but as I got so many, I figured I'd do it now!**

**Magpie287: Thanks! I'm glad you like it-and I got your meaning!**

**Burnsier: Thanks! Nice to see people interested!**

**candyflossgirl: Thanks! I'm updating as fast as I can.**

**My-Little-Emmilette: Thank you! I'm trying to write ahead, so I've got another chapter written at the moment!  
**

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**MPOV**

I took a step back, trying to take Robin in better. He was way too handsome, the kind of handsome that could give a girl a heart attack. But clearly, he wasn't perfect, otherwise he wouldn't be here.

"So what's your story?" My mouth opened before I could choose my words, and I ended up being far more blunt than originally intended. Way to put the foot in, Marian.

Robin grimaced before speaking. "An addiction to anything and everything going, at first. Then I moved on to just heroin." he replied, in such a matter-of-fact way that he could have been talking about the weather if you hadn't heard his actual words. I gasped as he spoke, my face creasing up into lines of pity.

"Why were you here alone yesterday?" Again, my mouth was working faster than my brain, but this was a better question than the last. Everyone came in accompanied by parents as upset and worried as clucking hens-some parents were dead ringers for them.

"Because I am alone." his answer surprised me. Robin was no older than I was, and yet he was alone.

"What about your parents-your friends?" I asked, bewildered.

He turned to me and looked directly into my eyes, letting me see how tortured he looked. "My mum died when I was very young, and my dad died last year. I had no aunts or uncles to start with, so I got shoved into a care home, but I couldn't hack it there, so I ran away. Ran into bad sorts, I guess. Some woman found me on the streets and rang Social Services, so I ended up here."

I stood stock still, too upset and confused about what he'd just told me to move. But he wasn't finished.

"We used to move about a lot. I spent some time in a military-type school in Iraq a couple of years ago-that was my last real home. My dad was in the Army, but that wasn't what killed him. Well, I suppose it was, in a way, but not directly. Someone blew up our house-he took the brunt of it. Nearly killed me, too."

I sank down onto the nearest chair, shock coursing through me. One human being had actually had to suffer through all that pain and misery, through no fault of their own. He couldn't have been any older than fifteen, same as me, and yet he'd lost everything. And he was still speaking.

"My friends…well, I've never had many. Always moved about too much to keep hold of them. I did have one, but once I went within three hundred miles of the heroin, he took off. Not in a bad way, just to try to make me see what I was doing. Much, his name was. Well, his nickname, anyway. His real name was Brian, but he hated that so much he started using his nickname, and now there aren't many people that actually know that it wasn't his original name."

"Oh, God, Robin!" I whispered, my hands over my mouth as I swayed. Quickly, he pushed a chair underneath me-just in time too, as I almost fainted and began to cry. He grabbed me into is strong, muscly arms and hugged me, rocking me gently and singing a foreign song into my ear. It sounded like some kind of lullaby, and certainly had that effect, as I only dimly registered him speaking quietly.

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**RPOV**

It felt awful, speaking about my past, about my parents and Much. I could see now how much I'd hurt him by going as far off the rails as I did. He had been like a brother to me, so I could imagine how much it had hurt him whne I had suddenly shut him out of my life, out of my friendship and chosen drugs over him. Bad choice.

--

I carried Marian to her room after she fell asleep in my arms. One of the staff directed me, and helped me make her comfortable in the bed. Having done that, I left, guessing that she needed a really good night's sleep.

On my way down the stairs, I almost walked into another girl. She was dark-skinned, and had beautiful brown eyes and brown hair. She looked brazen on the outside, but her eyes betrayed how scared and shy she was.

"Hi," I said quietly, hoping not to scare her.

"Je suis français. Tu parle français?" she spoke quickly.

"Oui, je parle français, mais je ne suis pas français." I spoke almost as quickly-I'd spent a couple of years in France and had picked up the language very quickly.

"Je m'appelle Djaq, et vous?" Again, the speech was quick and quiet.

"Je m'appelle Robin," I replied, struggling to speak as quietly as she did. "Ca va, Djaq?" I asked.

"Oui, ca va."

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**MPOV**

The next day, I went down to breakfast and saw Robin talking to one of the newer girls-the French girl. None of us had been able to speak to her, but Robin seemed to be deep in animated conversation with her. Even as I watched, she nodded and he smiled, a gorgeous smile that seemed to light up his entire face. He turned round and saw me, beckoning me over.

I walked across the dining room, and sat down on the bench next to Robin.

"Marian, that's Djaq, Djaq, elle est Marian," he said, pointing at me as he spoke to her. "Djaq speaks barely any English, but I'm going to teach her. I spent some time in France, so my knowledge of the language is fairly good." he explained.

Why did he have to be so damn good at everything! It really wasn't fair-I only knew a few words of French, and yet he spoke the language near perfectly! I rolled my eyes at myself and sighed. Bitchy Marian needed to go, and fast-she wasn't welcome in my life post-addiction.

Robin smiled at me, and began to explain what little he knew of Djaq's past.

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**A.N. You like? I know I was awfully mean at the start of the chapter, but I did pay for it. I almost cried as I wrote it, but there we are. Please review!**

**Felineyx**


	3. Hallelujah : Rufus Wainwright

**A.N. Wow. I'm so, so sorry that it's taken me this long to update. I had this crazy idea about doing NaNoWriMo, but my plot's going nowhere and I've really lost inclination for it, so I came on fanfic and suddenly realised how little I'd updated. Fortunately, I've got ideas for future chapters, so updates should be much less rare. I'm planning to update Tuesdays or Saturdays, maybe more often! For now though, enjoy!**

**Magpie287: Glad you like-hopefully less of the sob-stuff from now on.**

**Burnsier: Thanks! And I made her French because it was easier for me-I'm taking a French GCSE next year, so…yeah, you get me.**

**My-Little-Emmilette: Thank you! And yup, more fluff is coming!**

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**MPOV**

Over the next couple of days, Robin and Djaq seemed to be getting gradually closer and closer, and somehow I couldn't help but feel jealous of her. I wanted him to give me that kind of attention. I knew that they were entirely innocent-I even sat in on some of their language lessons, so I knew it for a fact. Even so, it was difficult to deal with.

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I plunged my spoon back into my bowl, trying to eat this seemingly endless mountain of cereal. I never had liked breakfast, and now it just seemed so meaningless. Why bother?

I was shaken from my thoughts by the feeling of someone else sitting on the bench next to me. Glancing around to see who it was, my face lit up with surprise, and I almost squealed.

"Will!" He was pretty much my best friend-although he was very shy and quiet, he'd always been there for me when I'd needed it. But he'd been stuck in hospital for the last week or so, after his temperature went dangerously high. Turned out it was just an infection, but even so, we all worried about him. As I looked closely at him, I saw that he still didn't look totally well. He was pale and drawn, with bags under his eyes.

"You ok?" he asked me, obviously having noticed me glaze over and fly into my own little world.

"I'm fine-what about you? You're almost the exact shade of paper," I asked, worry entering my tone.

"I'm fine, just tired. You try being on the same ward as a complaining, slightly batty old lady with a bad cough. And she snored," he said tartly, annoyance creeping over his features. He shook his head, laughing slightly. However, before he could say anything else, one of the counsellors came over to us.

"Will dear, are you sure you're alright?" she asked, sounding slightly fake as she did so. Will nodded, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she didn't press it further and walked away.

The second she was out of earshot, his features sank back into annoyance. "And _don't _call me dear!" he whisper-shouted. I laughed-that coming from someone as easy-going as Will sounded very strange to me, although I could understand his point entirely.

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**RPOV**

Working with Djaq was an extremely pleasant experience. She was shy and quiet, but always eager to learn, an absolute pleasure to teach. But not while I felt like this. All the counsellors kept telling me it was withdrawal kicking in, but I didn't see how missing something could make anyone feel this bad. I was spending half my days with my head bent over a bucket or a toilet, I couldn't get comfortable and I really couldn't decide whether I was hot or cold. But Djaq showed me a side of her I hadn't expected-a medically gifted side. She used cold cloths when she needed to, and always seemed to know when that vile bucket was needed. I slet fitfully for the couple of days it was really bad, having to drift, really.

According to Djaq, a cold had hit me at the exact same time as the withdrawal, making it ten times worse. I felt dizzy a lot of the time, there were often several Djaqs in the room at any given time. But I kind of knew I was getting there, so I didn't complain, and finally, it passed.

I didn't realise quite how ill I'd felt until I was better, or how bad I'd looked until I caught sight of myself in a mirror. My skin was pale and waxy, I had large shadows beneath my eyes. All in all, I looked as though I was still ill. But I wasn't, so back to class I had to go.

I was studying for my GCSEs this year, something I was finding difficult. My education had been fragmented and difficult, and I'd had to overcome the language barrier several times, meaning that I missed out on several important things. On that logic, I took as many languages as I could, ending up with French, Italian and Arabic. I took the languages, statistics and biology, because they were subjects that would never really change. I hoped not to still be here when I actually took them, and there was a large possibility of that actually coming true.

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**DPOV**

Working with Robin was a strange and yet pleasant experience. He was a fantastic teacher, very patient, very willing to help. And when he fell ill, I was delighted to be able to return the services that he had given me. Through the illness, he told me little snippets of his past life, enough for me to piece together most of it. I was grateful that someone else would know what it felt like to be away from their parents, even if his was a touch more permanent than mine.

My parents lived in Marseille still, a far cry from here. I'd been sent over to England to gain an education and a better knowledge of the English language. After all, the best way to learn a language was to go and live there.

But I guess I fell in with th wrong crowd or something, because some people picked me up off the streets and dumped me in here, with little explanation. I don't think they actually realised that I spoke an entirely different language to them.

Still, I was somehow finding happiness in this place, despite the fact that only Robin could ever understand me. I don't think he particularly minded playing translator for me. I was getting along pretty well with two of the girls there-Marian and Jane. Through Robin, I could understand their sweet, caring personalities, and I knew their stories, why they ended up here. We were already becoming good friends, something I hadn't had in a while.

Optimism now coursed through my veins-I felt happy, and I was accepting England. Happy days.

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**A.N. Ok, that was horrible to write. Djaq's is a little disjointed as some stuff does get lost in translation, and I was struggling to get it out. Please review!**


	4. Death And All His Friends : Coldplay

**A.N. Crap. I'm so, so, so very sorry. I honestly have been meaning to update all week, but I've just been too knackered. I know it's a bad excuse, but Hidden Truth's been draining my creative splurge. This is probably going to go to Sunday updates now, because I do nothing at all on a Sunday. Yeah…sorry!**

**Magpie287: Will coming in didn't entirely work out like I expected, but thanks. Here is your more!**

**Burnsier: I saw the hint, I honestly did…thanks!**

**x-flashwithwave-x: Thanks, yet again. And that was so not a good a chapter…**

**candyfloss girl: Thanks! It's ok. Here's the update!**

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**MPOV**

There seemed to be a collective air of relief when Robin returned to our classes. He looked absolutely dreadful, and in my opinion should still have been in bed, but he looked pleased to actually have something other to do than lie in bed and look ill for a few days. Much as I hated to admit it, I'd missed him, his sense of humour and I'd missed the translations he gave between Djaq and I. She'd spent the time nursing him, and I couldn't help but feel jealous. It was me he opened up to, me who was his first friend. Surely I should be doing that. But then again, I knew nothing about medicine or nursing-it definitely wasn't my idea of a dream career.

Not that I actually knew what I wanted to do when I got out of here. Try and make it up with my father, look after my mother's grave, but nothing long-term. All I knew was that I wanted to help people, help families who'd suffered in the same way as my father, watching their children go through the painful process of addiction and rehabilitation. Counselling was an option, I guessed, or actually working in a place like this. Not here though, I was clear on that point. Once I got out, I was having nothing to do with this place, it just held way too many bad memories for me.

I pitied Robin immensely in that sense-he'd missed out on so much work, he said so himself. Not like he'd had an easy ride mind, he'd worked damn hard to even understand half of what was going on in all those random, screwed up countries. His language courses looked horribly difficult-Arabic had an entirely different style of writing, and yet he seemed to understand it pretty well. And he was just awesome at French, he spoke it so well that I'd have confused him for a French person if I hadn't known better.

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**RPOV**

I was called into the counsellor's office. Nine o clock sharp. I almost wondered what it was that I'd done, the message was blunt. I was assured by Marian and Will that I was fine, but I had a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach that said something bad was going to happen.

I knocked on the door, taking a deep breath as a calm voice called for me to enter. I walked through the doorway, sitting down in the chair in front of the desk. White. I was so sick of sodding white, everywhere. White walls, white carpet-the only thing that wasn't white was the light in the toilets, which was bright blue. Supposed to stop you from being able to inject into your veins, somebody thinking that old habits die hard. I could pick out my veins perfectly even in that light, but I wasn't about to inject myself and spend even more time in my own personal hell.

"Good morning, Robin," the counsellor, Renn, said coolly.

"Good morning, Renn," I replied cordially.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush, Robin." Well, God forbid. "You've done excellently over the last two weeks, and we've arranged for you to have a two hour visit to the care home you were previously in. Apparently there's a boy living nearby who'd really like to see you-Brian somebody or other," she rattled off, sounding bored.

"Much," I breathed. He'd stayed around. I'd been about to say no, but that changed everything.

"When do I leave?"

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I stood out on the front steps, shifting my weight from leg to leg as each one became uncomfortable. I rubbed at the vein on my left wrist absentmindedly, then jumped to alertness as the sound of an engine approached. Lise, one of the old care workers, jumped out of the huge Chelsea tractor, her arms looking for a hug. Instinctively, I shied away, and she backed up, looking ashamed of herself.

"God, you look better, Rob," she said, slightly shakily.

"Cut out the nicey-nicey bit, please," I muttered, too low for her to hear.

"Ready to go?" she asked brightly, and I nodded curtly.

The journey passed in boredom, even though it was only twenty minutes away. I twiddled my thumbs together, just needing something to do. The silence in the car was awkward, you could cut the tension with a vegetable knife. I decided to break to quiet first.

"So, how's things?" Just a general, nothingy question.

"Alright, I suppose. Allan's getting into all kinds of trouble, as you'd expect. Keeping in touch with his girlfriend, Jane. They met online, apparently. You should have met her, you're in the same place," she stopped short, suddenly realising that she was letting her tongue run away with her. I rolled my eyes. Just because I'd been addicted to drugs, did not make me a delicate little flower, incapable of looking after myself and taking offence at every little thing. That was what someone who had the addiction felt like, not someone recovering.

"Carry on," I told her calmly, with a brilliantly convincing, extremely fake smile plastered onto my face.

"Much rings us most days, tries to find out when he can see you. He almost screamed when Jode told her today.

Poor Jodie. She was resident phone-answerer and recpetionist and general dogsbody of that home, the only one who really kept it together. She must have dealt with Much every single time he rang.

"I can imagine," I said. Another nothingy answer, but at least I was listening, and I _could _relate to this one. Much was really quite clingy, incredibly loyal, but clingy nonetheless. A brilliant friend to me though, he always had been, right from when we were very small boys and I'd lived over here.

A shiver ran through me as we went past the wreckage of my old home. My blood ran cold. I didn't even know that this place was still here, thought that they'd have pulled it down by now. Complete eyesore, but I was grateful for the fact that it was still there. It served as a reminder to me of where it had all gone so very, very wrong for me, and would probably serve as a driving force through my recovery too. I wanted to be there when the old house was nuked from the earth forever. Not such an unreasonable request, surely?

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**A.N. So…kind of a cliffy then. Will he meet Much? Or will I be nasty and make him run away…**

**Decisions, decisions.**

**Please review!**


	5. Smiley Faces : Gnarls Barkley

**A.N. Sorry-this is a day later than I'd originally intended, but it's been written since Monday night. I don't know what's getting into me lately, I just…I don't know, keep forgetting or something!**

**Not so many reviews last chapter…hmm. I'm frowing in disapproval here, can't you see me? No? Oh, well. Just take my word for it!**

**Magpie287: Frist off, allow me to offer you my congratulations for being such a dedicated reviewer! Secondly…well, you won't be waiting long to see Robin again, and more Robin/Marian is coming, it's just hard to work it into this bit.**

**One review off 71 hits? I'm seeing a bad ratio there. Come on, reviewing isn't that hard…is it?**

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**RPOV**

I jiggled up and down in my seat, my foot tapping away as nerves threatened to take over my careful composure. Imagine being scared of seeing your own best friend for the first time in montsh-it's such a strange feeling; doesn't really make any sense. But there I was, absolutely bricking it. Mentally, I counted to help me calm down, give me something else to think about for as long as possible. So far, I'd done one to ten in Italian, eleven to one hundred in French, then one to ten in Japanese and repeated the French.

As we drew up to the home, I caught my breath. Much was stood right there on the steps with a facial expression that mirrored my own feelings of absolute terrror. He also looked conflicted, as if he didn't want to be scared but he was. Couldn't blame him, really. He had no idea what he was going to see, what had been going on with me. My gut wrenched at the idea of him being scared of me. Terrified of my reaction, hell, probably even scared of his own! I kicked myself in the shin, cursing when I felt it begin to bruise. That one was going to be hard to explain away. Lise gave me her usual motherly glare, and I returned my famous icy stare. It was like I'd never left.

The car stopped with the usual crunching sound of Lise applying the handbrake. I'd always tried to warn her that it would kill the car, but she never listened. I drew in several deep breaths, trying to steady my quivering hands. When that failed, I stuffed them into the pockets of my hoody, twanging the door open as I did so.

As the door swung open, I jumped, out, landing agiley a foot or so down from where I'd started. I winced internally, having forgotten how high this machine was, and therefore having not braced myself. I allowed myself to relax a touch when none of the pain showed on my face, so I took a deep breath and turned to face Much, looking him straight in the eye.

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**MuPOV (Yays!!! Finally!!!)**

Robin _looked _different, even through the windows of a car. He looked to be having some kind of internal battle, arguing with himself as only he could. Like he always used to. He looked to wobble slightly as he landed after jumping out of the car, but corrected it quickly and covered it well. The only thing that didn't seem to have changed was his eyes. Those piercing emerald eyes that gave a window into his soul, the gaze that held you, no matter how hard you tried to look away. I noticed the dark shadows beneath his eyes, probably fading now, and his skin, which had a ghostly pallor. He looked really ill.

Our long staring contest held for a couple more seconds, and then we broke it simultaneously, running forwards and meeting somewhere in the middle in a brotherly hug. I was startled slightly by how tense he was-almost so tense that he was stiff as a wooden board.

"You don't look well, Much." he stated quietly.

"Coming from the lad who should be in bed!" I exclaimed, not having the saem success at keeping my voice quiet.

"Huh?" His tone was one of confusion.

"You're ill!" I pointed out incredulously. He burst out laughing.

"Not anymore. Not anymore." Suddenly, his tone was sombre, as if he was losing himself in memories of the past. Probably beating himself up again. Thankfully, Lise broke the atmosphere.

"Inside, lads." She spoke in a tone that offered no room for argument. I dipped my eyes, remembering the days when Robin actually lived in this hell-hole. Before all the crap with the drugs. Whenever Lise spoke in a tone like that, it used to crack us up. We could never look at each other without requiring a corset to hold our sides together.** (family joke, just roll with it.)**

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Robin and I sat in the blissfully empty lounge area, an awkward silence hovering in the air between us like mist. I wondered vaguely how I should phrase what I wanted to aske him; I didn't want to pussyfoot around him, but by the same token I was scared of saying the wrong thing. Robin rolled his eyes, obviously sensing my discomfort by my hunched shoulders.

"So…erm, how've you been?" I asked brightly, grimacing at the tactless phrasing. Robin gave a slightly wry smile before responding.

"I've been better, but there again I've been an awful lot worse, too, so I guess it evens itself out. The centre's ok, I get on well with most of the people there, but the stuff before that was just crap. Please, don't make me talk about that, yeah?" His Mancunian accent bored into me like a drill.

"Sure. You went a bit misty-eyed when you spoke about the centre. Anyone special?" I asked, ready to give him a load of stick.

"Yes, as it happens. She doesn't feel the same way though." And that was when I knew that this was a very different Robin to the one I had known. This one would lie down and take stuff, but the old never-say-die Robin would've been chasing this girl for weeks until she agreed to go out with him.

Lise, yet again, ruined the moment. The two hours were up. Robin had to go. Back away again, to a place where I probably wouldn't see him for another year or two.

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**MPOV**

The centre was so boring without Robin there. I had no-one I actually wanted to talk to, because Djaq and I couldn't understand one another and Jane had been allowed home on a weekend visit. Guy always tried to talk to me, so I pretended to put up with him and his sleazy, always-high friend Vasey. Somehow, he managed to stay high without ever being carted off to some loony bin or other. I don't think Guy was ever part of that scene, but he was just overly arrogant and was permanently flirting with him. I don't think there were any words in the world blunt enough to make him leave me the hell alone.

He just…had one of those sadistic personalities, the kind of person that would drown tiny kittens and laugh as he heard their squealing. I supposed that he'd probably been nice once, very deep down, because sometime flashes of that came through. Not often, though, and certainly not often enough for my liking.

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**A.N. Finished? Good, now press review. Big button underneath this, you can't possibly miss it.**


	6. Lost : Coldplay

**A.N. I can't even begin to describe how sorry I am. I did concerts and stuff last week, but that's really not important. I'll post again tomorrow (I hope.)**

**Magpie287: Thank you! Glad you understand. It's coming though-just not in the next two chapters.**

**candyflossgirl: I'm sorry, I cause your problem. I promise to review.**

**Scarlett's Baby: I'll try. No promises though.**

**Burnsier: Glad you approve!**

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**RPOV**

The centre was remarkably quiet after the hectic weekend. It was the same old routine-get up, work, go to bed. Dull as hell, and about as fun as cutting off your own legs. Which I somehow don't think would be a lot of fun-merely very, very painful.

I heard nothing from Much, which was slightly sad. Now that I'd seen him again, I desperately wanted to keep in touch. I'd realised exactly how much I'd been missing in my…stupidity. The despondency that I'd felt when I'd had to leave again had settled over me like a black cloud over the whole week. Marian was hiding something from me, that much I could tell, and I knew it had to be one of two things. Either Guy was irritating her again, or her time to leave for good was approaching. Neither of the two sounded particularly wonderful.

I sat in Statistics, sucking the end of my pencil as I tried to figure out my graph. Evidently, this was not as easy a subject as was commonly made out. I sighed, forcing myself to think about it. This was not difficult, I just needed to think about it.

Finally, ten minutes later, I came to the correct conclusion. Dr Walters allowed her head to fall to the table in relief that I'd got it. I yearned for the chance to prove that I was intelligent, just having missed out an awful lot of stuff through one thing and another. Moving about, learning languages, then trying to understand the subject, trying to grasp concepts I had no knowledge of in a language that was not my own. It certainly wasn't the best situation I'd ever tried to learn in.

Leaving Statistics, I wandered down the corridor. I frowned as I heard raised voices, then cursed quietly as I recognised them. Guy and Marian. By the sound of it, she was trying to get away from him, and he was forcing her to stay, like the sleazy slimeball he was. I hurried around the corner, keeping my footsteps gentle and silent.

"Oi! Gisbourne!" I yelled, my voice echoing off the walls of the narrow hallway.

"Locksley," he replied coldly, his voice as ugly as his appearance.

"Been on the hair gel again? Doesn't suit you, darlin.'" I added, taking note of the grease in his hair.

"Shut up!" Marian shouted, sensing where that was going.

"Sorry, Marian," he said, and I could have sworn I saw him mouth a 'love' on the end. I forced a fake smile onto my face.

"Best be going, Gizzy. Ciao," I bit with a sickly sweet tone, taking Marian's arm and half dragging her away. The second he disappeared out of earshot, Marian let me have it.

"I can fight my own battles-I need to fight my own battles! You cannot be hovering on my shoulder every time someone unsavoury comes within a ten mile radius of me! Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe when you're around me, you're just there, like this overprotective…git!"

"Well, I'm sorry for being concerned for your welfare," I replied sarcastically.

"I don't need to be mollycoddled, Robin." Her voice was dangerously low, a sharper anger than shouting.

"Good! Because you're not going to get it here!" I retorted, my own temper bubbling on the surface. I turned swiftly on my heel and walked away, not caring where it was I ended up going. Away, that I was sure of. Anywhere.

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**MPOV**

I felt bad, after he walked away. I hadn't really meant all those things that I'd said. I'd seen a flicker of hurt cross his face, though he hid it well, and even thinking about that made a fresh wave of guilt wash over me. I'd pushed away the one person who really cared, the one person who was truly alone in the world. I'd been his friend and then pushed him away again.

Even with that, it took me the better part of half an hour to calm down. Him standing behind me and attacking Guy was all very well and good, but what happened when he couldn't be? That would be the one time that I got attacked, and I wouldn't be able to defend myself because he'd been doing it for so long.

But when Robin didn't come back, I started to get concerned. What if he'd tried to run away or something? What if he was hiding away somewhere, hurting. Or worse, what if he'd tried to commit suicide or something? That would just be too much to bear.

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**RPOV**

I took in the cool air beyond the barbed wire fencing. Freedom was a beautiful feeling, the kind of feeling that makes you fly inside. I moved quickly, not knowing how much time I'd have before someone noticed me gone and raised the alarm. Thinking about Much and then having the argument with Marian had made me certain-I needed to see him again, to make things straight. I needed to talk to him properly, without the restraints of Lise hovering over our shoulders.

But as I got close to town, I began to realise that I hadn't thought this through particularly well. What did I plan on doing-knocking on the front door? Chances were, Lise and the home had already been alerted, and they would guess my next moves more easily than breathing. Freedom was a beautiful thing, but I was not truly free, and my gut wrenched as I thought about what the consequences could be. I'd certainly just given myself more time in hell.

But I was away now, so I had to keep going. I changed my route, skirting away from the large group of lights. I headed for the open fields-one of the best places to hide was, I'd learned, in open view, and that was exactly what I intended to do.

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Of course, while thinking about hiding, I'd forgotten to take into account the weather. It was snowing and bitterly cold, and I'd left in my centre clothes; jeans and a t-shirt. I glanced down at my fingers, already a brilliant shade of purple and sighed. How on earth did I expect to last a night out here when the sun had only set an hour ago and it was only going to get colder.

I huddled up underneath a bush, regretting my decision with every second that passed. It would have been so much easier to just turn myself straight back in, instead of turning myself into an icicle. Yet another stupid mistake to add to a list a mile long.

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**MPOV**

When night fell, I began to worry. As in, really worry. Robin was capable of looking after himself, but when it was this cold? The thermometer outside read minus three, a number which was only going to get lower. Dr Walters stepped outside for thirty seconds and she came in shivering, so I had no idea how any human being expected to arrive there.

Then I thought about it. As in, really thought. He'd spoken of his longing to speak to Much again. That must have been where he went!

Now I faced a dilemma. Did I tell them, get him found before he did any harm to himself, or did I stall, give him a chance to get to Much but risk him dying? What was I supposed to do? It was so selfish of him to just up and leave like that! What did he expect me to do?

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**A.N. Right, see that green button just south of this? I'd like you to press it. This is not a request.**


	7. Bring Me To Life : Evanescence

**A.N. My (very) late updates are not an excuse to not review. I finished school on Friday, saw Twilight the same day and went Christmas shopping yesterday. On top of that, I had to catch up on some sleep. That's why it's late.**

**Magpie287: I hope he's ok too! Glad you enjoyed it, and I'm not entirely sure why I tried, probably just for the hell of it!**

**Jonasluva: Hurrah! A new reviewer! I feel honoured. Glad you liked the storyline, and the R/M stuff is coming, but I can only get so much in before it starts sounding ridiculous.**

**Just realised I kept forgetting to do this, so…**

**DISCLAIMER: Anything you recgonise belongs to somebody else. I tried to get the patent, but I only had 20p.**

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**RPOV**

I rolled myself out of the tiny ball I had curled up into, feeling my joints pop. I shivered violently, my teeth clattering together to make an awkward chattering sound. I looked out from under my bush, seeing the grey light of dawn brightening the sky. I pinched myself, unsure if I'd actually dreamed surviving the night under the bush. I forced myself out from the bare shrubbery, struggling to move my stiff, frozen limbs.

I staggered my way over the fields, still cursing my decision to hide in plain sight. How stupid I had been to hide on a field in the middle of winter? Pushing every thought to the back of mind, I pushed myself on towards my goal: Much's house.

His parents were around about as much as mine-never. His dad had never been around, and his mum worked three long jobs, so I was in no danger of really being noticed. The neighbours could be a bit snotty though, and I had a feeling the I didn't exactly have a stunning appearance going. There were leaves in my hair, and not having a jumper wasn't going to help my cause. I needed some serious help, and I knew just where I was going to go and get it from.

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**MPOV**

He didn't come back, and I just didn't get it. He hated this place-really hated it, couldn't wait to be out again. He had some serious issues with authority, although that wasn't altogether surprising, given his family history. Being on the run, as he had been, for so long, must have been a hard habit to break. But I thought he liked me, that I took the edge off the craving for freedom. Obviously not.

He left without a backwards thought, and that was what irritated me the most. Never mind about the fact that he was supposedly teaching Djaq some English in return for her teaching him the finer points of French grammar. He and Will had been forming a rather tentative friendship, and between us we'd been doing a little bit of matchmaking between Will and Djaq. And as we did all of that, I was sure that I'd felt something between us, something more than just friendship. But clearly I'd been wrong on that count.

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**APOV (just for you, Scarlett's Baby)**

I groaned as I tumbled out of bed. It was an unreasonable hour of the morning for anybody to be knocking on the front door, particularly with the amount of venom and desperation that was being inflicted on my door at this moment. I half-fell down the stairs, calling out as I went,

"Alright, alright, I'll be there in a moment!" There was a muffled yell from the other side, but the accent and words were impossible to decipher. I flung the door open and staggered backwards in shock.

"Robin? What in the name of all that is holy are you doing here?" I struggled to keep my voice low. Mum was still in bed, and though she was nursing a hefty hangover, I didn't want to risk waking her.

"Ask questions later. Can I come in first?" he muttered quickly, and I took a closer look at him. It looked as though he'd been sleeping rough again, with leaves in his hair. His lips and fingers were blue, his face pure white. He was leaning against the door frame, almost as though he needed it to hold himself up. As he staggered through the door, I realised that it probably had been holding him upright.

I shook my head, impatient questions on my lips as I led him down into our old cellar. Dad had converted it into an extra lounge, one that I used more often than not. Nobody every came and checked down here, so we were safe for a while.

"Why have you been sleeping rough?" The question came unbidden from me, and I winced at the bluntness of it.

"It was only last night. Got dragged into a rehab centre, but I ran away yesterday. Saw Much for the first time in way too long, but it was too awkward, too tense. I needed to talk to him properly, without some adult hovering; without a time limit. Perhaps this wasn't the best way to do it, but it was the only option available at the time." He told the story as though there was a lot more to it, but I was no good at reading expressions, so I let it drop.

"Well if you wanted to see Much, what are you doing here?" I asked, confused.

"I couldn't just turn up on his step blue, shivering and with leaves in my hair now could I? Figured you'd be able to help. And I wanted to see you as well." He gave his answer as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and I was a fool for not seeing it earlier.

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**RPOV**

I took several deep breaths as I stopped on the doorstep of number thirty-two. The home of Brian Much. I pushed the doorbell, still trying to convince myself that this was a good idea. Too late though, because the door opened quickly.

"Ro-Robin?" Much stuttered, then turned around and faced me again. "Yup, definitely Robin," he said, pinching himself and then wincing.

"You ain't dreaming, Much. I'm here, on your doorstep." I offered no more explanation, choosing to let him come to terms with the fact that I was here before anything else happened.

"Why? How?" Much was so shocked that he couldn't actually form a coherent sentence any more.

"Needed to talk to you, so I ran away. Simple as that." I said it as though it had been much easier than it actually was.

"Well, you'd best come in then. Looks cold," said a voice from behind Much. His mother. I had to choose her one day off, didn't I?

I forced a smile onto my face, muttering curses under my breath as I stepped over the threshold.

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**MPOV**

When morning had well and truly broken, I made my decision. He'd had all night to come back and hadn't, and who knew what kind of shit was out there waiting for him? I moved myself off the sofa where I'd sat all night, unmoving; barely blinking. As I walked down the corridor, I longed for his cheeky smile to appear in front of me, for his teasing words to ask me where I was going. And strangely enough, I half-longed to kiss him.

But there was no such luck, and so I approached my counsellor's door and knocked on, hard and importantly.

"Come in!" her lilting accent commanded, and I obeyed without a backwards glance.

"I know where he is."

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**So. Green Button. Press. Now.**


	8. Hero : Nickelback

**A.N. I only owe one more to you lot after this! Hurrah for being caught up!**

**candyflossgirl: How freaky is that! Glad you liked, anyway.**

**Magpie287: Perhaps not! I'll just have to wait and see.**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not mine.**

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**MPOV**

I tried to convnce myself that what I'd told my counsellors had been for the best, but somehow I wasn't really convinced. I told them everything that I knew, everything I'd worked out and everything that I suspected. It took a while-they weren't willing to go out on a wild goose chase if I wasn't completely sure. It took several renditions of "well where the bloody hell else would he go" before they finally decided to give it go.

I didn't even want to think about what the consequences would be. I felt awful enough as it was, denying his freedom after he worked so damn hard to earn it. When he was dragged back, I could imagine his anger, the feelings of hurt and betrayal. Probably quite similar to the way I felt when I was first brought in. Such a long time ago, or so it seemed.

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The day passed, quietly. Nothing happened, no one came in or out of the centre. Dead. Silent, like a ghost town. A couple of kids were even praying for Robin's safe return. I knew better than that; just knew he'd be okay. He survived for goodness knows how long by himself, so a day and a half should have been easy for him. Child's play, some would say.

And then all of a sudden, the centre seemed to tense and then relax. Voices came from the main entrance, many footsteps. The voices sounded angry, disappointed. I sunk back down, sure they hadn't found him. Sure that I'd been completely wrong, sent everyone on a wild goose chase and got all their hopes up for nothing. Nothing at all.

Of course, I was wrong. Robin's voice came next, the words indistinguishable but his voice very clear. I let out a breath that I did not even know I had beeen holding in. He was alive, he was alright. That was enough for me. I didn't particularly want an argument with him over why I'd done it, didn't want to speculate over how he spent the night. I'd just needed to know that he was ok.

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**RPOV**

It took them over two hours to stop yelling at me over responsibility and stupidity. I barely got a word in edgeways, certainly couldn't explain why I'd done it. Couldn't tell them that this place was like a prison for me, a person who'd spent too long running free.

I didn't need to ask to know who told them where I was. It had to be Marian; she was the on,y one who really knew anything about mne, aside from possibly Djaq. But Djaq didn;'t have the words to explain ti, and she wouldn't have been taken seriously at all. I couldn't blame Marian for telling them, I really couldn't. I was the one who ran away with no word or warning, no note or explanation. I deserved to spend longer here for my own stupidity.

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When they finally let me out of the office, I made my way straight to the lounge. I could hear a girl crying in there: heartbroken sobs that wracked my heart. I stood in the doorway, barely concealing my surprise that it was Marian doing the crying. Feisty, strong Marian, who looked as though she'd never cried in her life. I think she knew I was there, because she quickly stopped, wiping her face roughly with the back of her hand.

"Do I need to ask why?" she muttered, not looking at me.

"Probably not," I replied softly, regretfully. "Thank you," I added, catching her by surprise.

"For what? I dobbed you in. You're supposed to be angry or something," she replied, a hard, bitter edge to her voice.

"I wouldn't have survived much longer out there, and it was only my own stubbornness that kept me out there in the first place."

"Where did you sleep?"

"Under a bush in the middle of a field. One of the best places to hide is in plain sight. And anyhow, you weren't the only one to dob me in. Much's mother did as well. I managed to choose her one day off to go visiting. She's not stupid, she knew where I was meant to be. Thanks to her, I made absolutely no progress at all." I caught myself before I went off on a long rant.

"You slept under a _bush?_" Marian replied, her voiced incredulous and shocked.

"Like I said, hiding in plain sight. Can't say it was terribly wam-" I broke off to sneeze, "but it did the job."

"You idiot."

"I know, I know. I knew it then, and it took all my resolve not to come straight back. But as I was running away, I figured that I'd best do it properly."

"Do you have any idea how worried we all were about you? I sat up all night, wondering and worrying, debating whether I should tell anyone or not, regretting that I ever had that argument with you in the first place. I thought I'd never see you again, Robin!" she shrieked.

"I was always coming back, Marian. I'll always come back." I replied softly.

"All night, I felt so guilty that I sent you away. Do you have any idea how that feels?" she asked, her voice quiet now.

"I'm sorry." Somehow, we'd moved together while we'd talked and yelled, and now we were almost touching. I looked down at her, and she looked up at me. Our heads moved together, slowly, carefully, and our lips moved together.

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**DPOV**

I'd moved down the corridor after the argument seemed to have passed. I stopped in the doorway, shocked by what I saw. The two of them had finally sorted themselves out and started kissing already. And it was about time too, frankly. They'd been creeping around each other and ignoring it for way too long, and it had been driving me insane. It was so obvious, and yet they were the only ones who never saw it.

I stunned me how such intelligent people could be so blind. Could they not see that love in their eyes and words, the way they orientated themselves around each other, unconsciously protecting when the only people they needed protecting from was themselves? They maddened me sometimes, they really did.

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**A.N. I finallt got the R/M stuff in. Not wonderfully written, I know, but I write angst, not fluff. I'm not a fluffy person.**

**Now, that green button won't press itself, and the review won't type itself. Get to work.**


	9. Spaceman : The Killers

**A.N. Thanks for putting up with the wait…if you're all still there, and I wouldn't blame you if you aren't.**

**RPOV**

The centre could have been hell after my little episode, but Marian was there, so it wasn't. Gisbourne, the sleazeball, had been moved on to another centre somewhere in Newcastle, and Vaisey had followed him. Good riddance to some really smelly rubbish, in my opinion, not that it counted for much round here lately .If it hadn't have been illegal, I suspect that the counsellors probably would have chained me to the bed. They were all terrified that I'd run away again or something, because their reputation wasn't really wonderful at the moment after Vaisey was discovered as a dealer. One of the new lads, Carter, had called the cops on Vaisey and his gang.

Marian and I were going good though. Every time I saw her, my heart jumped that bit further up into my chest. She made me feel whole again, normal. She helped me through the days where I wasn't in a great place mentally, helped me see other points of view. She was my own personal voice of reason, something I would be eternally grateful for. I loved her, and that was the most important thing now.

Two weeks, and we'd both be out. We were counting down the days to freedom and new life.

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**A.N. I know it's a pretty shit attempt, but that was the epilogue! It's done, it's finished, there might be a sequel or there might not, I've got a lot to do at the moment. **


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